Psychology alum helps Black women reclaim joy

Licensed counselor Melisa Alaba owns a coaching business in a leafy office park in Marietta, Georgia. Over the past few months, she’s been going into the empty office, paying the rent and going home.

But virtually, she’s received a deluge of new clients looking to take care of their mental health and find financial stability during a year that upended all certainty. She works with the hope and knowledge that one day soon she’ll be with clients in the office again.

Alaba considers herself a breakthrough coach. As the founder of Vision Works Counseling and Coaching, she leads a team of therapists — all Black women — who coach women of color through emotional issues. Her advice has been featured in Ebony Magazine, Parents Magazine, Redbook and on ABC.

“I feel as if I was put here to help women of color heal their emotional pain, so they can live in an extraordinary life,” she said.

Alaba earned her bachelor’s and master’s degrees in psychology from Roosevelt University. She spoke to the Review about mental health and her new Soulful Sister Circle program, a support network of resilient women.

RR: When did you know you wanted to be a counselor?

I originally wanted to study fashion design and was going to go to Columbia College, down the street from Roosevelt. I had gotten a full scholarship, including room and board. Then the summer before I was going to start, a series of events happened to me.

I lived on the North Side of Chicago. I remember one day, walking home from work, a young lady stopped me and told me that she had had a spontaneous abortion. She had just come back from the hospital. Looking back, I did the right thing, which was to say, wow, I’m sorry that happened to you. She just said, thank you for listening.

Within a couple of days, I was on a train and a man sat next to me and told me he had lost his job and he needed to go home and tell his wife. I said again, wow, I’m sorry that happened to you.

That happened all summer, and I think about the fourth time I decided I needed to change what I was going to school for.

This was 1995. Most counselors or psychotherapists were working in a school or a psych hospital. Some were doing private practice, but these were what I’d consider middle-class white clients. I immediately knew I was going to be working outside of the hospital facility and addressing issues with people of color in a different way.

I declined Columbia College and then I started to figure out what I was going to do in this helping, healing profession.

RR: How did your Roosevelt professors or experiences help you prepare for what you’re doing now?

What really prepared me was working with Dr. Ferrell, who allowed me to do an internship in his program. Seeing someone who looked like me in the field who was doing things a little bit differently was impactful. He took a lot of time after class to talk to me and mentor me.

My English professors, who helped me to perfect my voice in writing, were also life-changing. I came to Roosevelt with subpar writing skills, and I had these amazing professors who coached me. Having a smaller class size helped me. At Roosevelt, I had some classes where there were only 10 to 15 of us. It allowed me to go deeper with my writing.

Now I’ve been writing for years. I’ve written for magazines, I’ve written a book, I have numerous workbooks, I write grant proposals. I’m always very grateful for that skill, because I got that at Roosevelt University.

RR: How would you describe your approach to working with clients?

I still use a lot of the theoretical knowledge and some of the different modalities that I’ve learned. But over the years, because of my own experiences, I’ve been able to create my own program which I believe is much more holistic and culturally sensitive in nature, especially when it comes to treating African American women and families.

I understand that when someone comes in with a work-related issue, it’s more than the work-related issue. A lot of times, it goes down to worthiness, to imposter syndrome, or being one of the only people of color in an executive position. That then impacts their personal life and how they show up in the world.

A part of the work is helping clients to set new standards and boundaries for themselves, to become more comfortable with using their voice and addressing concerns around the “isms” that still exist.

That holistic approach is not just looking at the very scientific and theory-based information, but also applying the “woo.” We have been through a lot as a people, and that carries from generation to generation unless we release it. It’s in-depth work that we do, which embodies spirit, emotional and culture work.

RR: This year has been a time of trauma and also grief for many people. What have you been hearing from your clients?

People grieve having s regular life: going out to plays, concerts and doing things that we normally would to celebrate birthdays and holidays. And then there is a grief of loss for those who lost family members or are supporting someone who lost a family member.

The other side that has been brought up is this sense of greater significance and having a greater impact of purpose; understanding how powerful it is to make more money. It’s weird because, out of all the things we just said, money was not something that was mentioned. But a big reason why so many people are suffering is the lack of resources: being in neighborhoods that don’t have ready access to the vaccine, or not being able to be tested immediately, or working in service jobs where they aren’t protected.

A lot of people want to do more to look out for themselves. The pandemic has made people want to focus on being more purposeful and more intentional about where they put their time and effort going forward.

RR: Why did you want to create your new Soulful Sister Circle program? What results have you seen so far?

The Sister Circle was a way to give emerging professional women of color a voice and a place to work through the B’HEALED transformation process that I created, with nine pillars to overcome depression, anxiety and old trauma.

I have been working with high-level professionals, but other clients couldn’t afford to work with me. I wanted to create an affordable online program that I was really a part of, so I took the time to put this program together. I’m in there twice a week, answering your questions.

It’s been amazing. During the pandemic, so many more people are reaching out wanting to do this work. This was a way for me to invite more people in and help people get through all the things they need to get through, so they can step into their purpose at a higher level. We have other coaches in there, so it’s all-inclusive, and you get to work on so many different dynamics.

I feel as if I’m in therapy and in coaching each week, leveling up myself. It feels really good.

The Soulful Sister Circle is open to anyone online. Learn more at www.soulsistersanctuary.com.

RR: What has it been like for you, as a mental health professional, to care for others while also facing your own difficulties during the pandemic?

On the one hand, I would say it’s been exciting, being able to do this work and expand, hiring a new therapist and building out our team. But, like everybody else, I’ve had to navigate the isolation — doing so much from home, your routine changing up.

I’m a cancer survivor, so initially I wasn’t going back to the doctor out of fear, and my routine got totally out of whack in terms of my health. I have a strict routine in terms of keeping myself totally healthy, and being stuck in the house changes things up.

We were taking so many new clients at once. I remember thinking that if it keeps going like this, something has to change. I was doing calls with my clients on my cell phone and then on my iPad. I would think, I just saw four people, why do I feel like I slew dragons?

I started researching why I was so tired and hearing from other therapists that they’re tired, too. As a clinician, you don’t have the person in front of you, so you’re looking for all these cues through a screen. It’s a new way of assessing that we haven’t done before.

But I think we’ve learned how to adapt. I have book clubs. I have a great Bible study that I meet with every Thursday. I spend time and have scheduled dates with my girlfriends via Zoom. My husband and I cook at home and dance to some music. You find things to do.

RR: What advice would you give to people, especially Black women and families, who are feeling worn down?

I always say honor your feelings. It’s okay to feel that way. I feel like it’s big in our community not to honor our feelings. We’re told to be strong, to not show emotion and just keep going.

The first step is saying it’s okay to ask for support because that’s another thing that has held many people back. They’ll ask their mom and their grandmother — which I do — and they’ll say, well, just pray about it.

People also might not access services because they may think they specifically want to work with one person, but they don’t have the finances to do so. Maybe there’s a community resource that you can reach out to — such as your work or maybe your insurance, but use what you have and go from there.