Who’s Funnier — Jerry Seinfeld or the Joliet City Council?

Two weeks ago my wife and I took a rare break from our humdrum lives as sleep-deprived and chore-obsessed parents of small children, and indulged ourselves in a night’s entertainment at Joliet’s historic Rialto Theatre, which for one glorious and side-splittingly hilarious evening hosted comedian Jerry Seinfeld for two high-profile performances.

The Rialto Theatre, Joliet IL, c. the late 1920s (Photo: Legends of America)

When tickets for Seinfeld’s appearance went on sale several weeks ago, the town buzzed with excitement at the prospect of the wise-cracking New Yorker gracing my hometown’s most fabulous stage. I should know, since I stood in line mighty early to get fourth row tickets for my wife’s birthday present.

Such was the overwhelming demand for the show that later that day a second performance was announced — and its tickets sold like hot cakes, too. On performance night, the Rialto brought well over 3,500 people into downtown Joliet ready to have some laughs and spend money — a fact to be noted with some measure of respect.

I should elaborate. Random readers from outside the area might harbor the mistaken impression that as the fourth-largest Illinois metropolis, Joliet possesses a vibrant downtown nightlife scene.

Shockingly, though, this is not the case. As we natives well know, about the most glitz and glamour you’ll get downtown on non-Rialto performance nights is the flashing blue light emanating in a menacing Big Brother-like fashion from the Homeland Security cameras mounted on buildings throughout the city’s central district.

That’s why we need people like Seinfeld to come to town occasionally, jazz up the scene, and make us forget temporarily that we live in such a sleepy, quiet, middle of the road, surveillance-camera-infested place. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But now that the raucous laughter from Seinfeld’s routine has died down, we should contemplate something far less funny. With about $7 million more in reserves within the overall 2012 budget projections than previously estimated during the summer, the City Council still cut $100,000 of its support for the Rialto and $166,000 more from other local arts organizations — specifically, the Billie Limacher Bicentennial Park (which hosts community theater and other events at its indoor auditorium and outdoor stage) and the Joliet Area Historical Museum.

Consider that hundreds, if not thousands, of Rialto patrons that night went out to dinner (and/or to the casino) before or after the shows and fed generous wads of their hard-earned money to the local economy. I can testify that we enjoyed a phenomenal meal at a downtown establishment that was absolutely hopping during “wave two” of Rialto-stimulated business.

The auditorium at the Rialto (Photo: Legends of America)

Consider that instead of mocking our nightlife-challenged burg, Seinfeld took pains to declare sincerely that the Rialto is one of the most beautiful and glorious performance venues he has ever played. (And does anyone seriously think he would come to Joliet were the Rialto not here?)

Finally, consider which is funnier: a Jerry Seinfeld stand-up comedy performance, or the three-ring circus of Joliet’s ongoing 2012 budget deliberations?

This is a revised version of my regular op-ed column that appeared as “Lack of Support for Rialto No Laughing Matter” in the 10 November 2011 issue of the Joliet Herald-News (p15). The Joliet City Council continues to work on the 2012 budget, and as of Wednesday, Nov. 9th, was considering a forensic audit going back twenty years.